


Secrets and Hope

by silver_sun



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Character Death Fix, Children of Earth Fix-It, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_sun/pseuds/silver_sun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Torchwood slowly rebuilds following the 456 the government is still keeping secrets from them and it's up to Ianto to reveal the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Secrets and Hope.  
 **Characters/pairings:** Ianto, Jack, Gwen, Rhys. Jack/Ianto and Gwen/Rhys.  
 **Rating: PG**  
 **Summary:** Just because the 456 are gone doesn't mean that government are being honest with people.  
 **A/N:** Because I like my angsty fic with a happy ending.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What do you mean there's no body?" Gwen says angrily to the woman at the desk, while Rhys stands as silent support behind her.

"I mean that we can't release the body of Mr Jones, because we don't have it." The woman looks back at her computer screen.

"Well bloody well tell me who does!"

"There's no need to be rude," the woman says, typing at her keyboard a little more aggressively than necessary.

"He was my friend. I want to be able to say good bye."

"He was a health risk. The body had to be disposed of immediately." She turns the computer monitor to face Gwen, "But I'm sure that I could get the ashes released to you in a couple of weeks, if you or his family wish a private service."

"Come on, love." Rhys puts an arm round her shoulders, walking her outside.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Gwen says tearfully as she gets into the car beside Rhys. "They said they'd send us the ashes. I'll talk to Rhiannon, arrange it."

Sitting hunched on the back seat, Jack nods, looking too shell shocked to speak, tears in his eyes, as they drive away from the government office block.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The light seems too bright as Ianto opens his eyes, the strong smell of hospital antiseptic filling the room.

Coughing and aching all over, Ianto struggles to sit up.

"You're awake then," a doctor says, noting down the readings on the monitors at Ianto's bedside, "We thought it might be some when today."

"How long?" Ianto's throat feels scratchy and sore, but given that he'd not ever expected to be waking up it's a minor discomfort that he's only too happy to put up with.

"Nearly two weeks." The doctor flicks over another page on his chart, "If you'd been out much longer we'd have had to reconsider your viablity for the project."

"Does Jack know I'm here?" Ianto looks about, trying to see if there's any indication that Jack might have visited him while he's been sick.

"Ah yes, Jack Harkness, the man who killed his own grandson."

"He wouldn't..." Ianto's voice cracks and wavers as he shakes his head. "Not if there was any other way."

"Are you so sure about that?" The doctor asks coldly, as he takes a syringe and sample vials from a case open on stand by the bed.

"I know him." Ianto flinches slightly as the needle goes into his arm, and the doctor takes his samples.

"You know nothing."

"When can I leave? I'll ask him myself."

"I'm sorry that's not going to be possible." The doctor doesn't even bother to look at him as he draws the blood, taking four separate samples.

"Why? Am I contagious?" Ianto asks, before staring at he doctor for a moment, and then saying, "If I was though you'd be in a hazmat suit."

"I was told you were the bright one," he says dispassionately, sealing the vials of blood away in a secure case. "No, you're not contagious, your blood has antibodies against the virus. It's vital that we study it, if we can develop an anti-virus against the four-five-six then they can't ever hold the planet to ransom like this again."

"You mean I'm a lab rat," Ianto snaps angrily, wishing that he felt strong enough to get up and hit the doctor in his smug, superior face. "You can't just keep me here. Jack will look for me and Gwen. They won't give up."

"We've arranged for your ashes to be given to them, so that they can move on. We'll provide any paper work your family needs as well, although I understand that you weren't that close to them anyway." The doctor smiles. "Nobody is going to miss you Mr Jones, now I'll send one of the nurses in, help you get cleaned up, you're going to be with us for a long time."

Laying back down on the bed, Ianto starts to plan his escape, because no matter how long it takes he's getting out and he getting back to Jack and Torchwood.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Secrets and Hope - (2/8)

As soon as the nurse has gone Ianto gets up. Unsteady on his feet after so long in bed, Ianto makes his way slowly around the room checking for anything that might tell him where he is.

There's nothing. Just a few pieces of utilitarian hospital furniture. There's not even a clock to let him know what time of day it is, although the bright sunlight that streams in through the window tells Ianto that it's probably early afternoon.

The window offers no hope of escape either, it only opens a few inches to allow fresh air into the room, and has thick metal bars across the outside. Even if it were not barred, Ianto isn't confident that he could make the twenty or so foot drop to the ground without injury, and falling and breaking an arm or leg would definitely not be a help in getting away.

The limited view from the window offers little in the way of information as to its location, except that the building, at least this side of it is surrounded by parkland. Probably an old sanitarium or mental institution that was now government controlled. Either way it would be secure.

Disheartened and tired from the effort of just walking around the room Ianto sits back down on the bed, the realisation that he's in no physical shape to try to make escape attempt for at least a few days, weighing heavily on his mind.

Picking at the bland food that the nurse has left for him, Ianto tries not to think too hard on why, yet again, he's survived when so many others have died. He knows that he'd only got through the aftermath of Canary Wharf because all his time had been taken up caring for Lisa, and that after Tosh's and Owen's deaths it was only focusing on making sure that Jack and Gwen were all right that had kept him sane.

Ianto supposes that he should be grateful that he's got an escape plan to work on as it's something to occupy his mind, but it's cold comfort as he doesn't know who will be alive to meet him when he does get out.

Everybody he hopes: Gwen, Rhys, their baby, his family; he can't bare the thought of never seeing any of them again. Jack, he knows is alive, but it scares him to think what sort of state Jack will be in having had to sacrifice his own grandson.

He remembers how vulnerable Jack had been in the days following everything that had happened with Grey, how much Jack had blamed himself for not being able to save everyone.

Trying to eat, knowing that he needs to that he can recover enough to escape, Ianto has to stop frequently to wipe away tears, as he wonders if he'll still have somebody resembling the Jack he fell in love with to go back to.

* * *

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"He used to love it here," Rhiannon says, wiping tears from her eyes as the stiff breeze that blows across the cliff tops whips her hair about her face. "He'd spend hours up here with his mates after mam died, used to drive dad spare him coming back home at all hours."

Jack nods, but says nothing, looking weary and drawn, a silver urn clutched tightly to his chest.

Johnny stands behind them with Gwen and Rhys, looking uncomfortable in the shirt and tie that he's been persuaded to wear.

"Rhi said his grandson died as well," Johnny says quietly, looking over at Jack. "Can't imagine how bad it must be for him. If I lost my Rhi, or either of the kids..." He shakes his head, "I don't know what I'd do."

"I know what you mean," Rhys says, holding on to Gwen's hand. "It doesn't seem right him losing everything."

"I just wish I knew what I could do to help." Gwen looks at Jack with tears in her eyes.

As the wind picks up and the rain starts to fall, Jack holds out the urn for Rhiannon to take. Sounding close to tears, he says, "He was your brother."

"And he loved you." Rhiannon says, putting her hand over Jack's, so that they are both holding the urn. "Anyone could see that." She smiles tearfully, "You made him happy. He didn't used to tell us much, he loved his secrets, Ianto did. But what I do know is that when he came back from London he was miserable, wouldn't tell us what was wrong, then, after a while, he was happy again."

Jack closes his eyes, tears escaping, as he takes a shaky breath, knowing that he can't tell Rhiannon the truth.

"I think that was when he met you," Rhiannon continues. "It surprised me, knowing that he was going out with a man, but I wish he'd told us sooner, I only ever wanted him to be happy." Her voice wavers, "I'm just glad he had somebody there who loved him."

"He'd have been safer never knowing me," Jack says hoarsely.

"Don't you dare apologise for making him happy or for loving him," Rhiannon says crossly, "Don't you dare, not today."

"But it's my fault, I should have kept him safe."

Rhiannon gives Jack's hand a squeeze, "Then it's my fault as well, I gave him the laptop and car, that's why he knew to go to London."

"But I failed him, I failed all of them."

"Just listen to yourself, Ianto wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." Rhiannon smiles tearfully, "He loved you far too much for that."

Jack nods, although he doesn't look like he believes it.

"Together then?"

"Together."

They are both crying as they open the urn, and neither of them can find any words as the wind catches the fine grey ash, carrying it out over the ocean.

As soon as it's done Rhiannon turns away, starting to sob she clings to Johnny, who holds her tightly.

Standing alone, greatcoat flapping about him, tears running down his cheeks, Jack salutes as the last of the ashes drift out of sight.


	3. Secrets and Hope Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Secrets and Hope - (3/8)

The cranes on the Plas have just started lifting the first sections of twisted metal from the ruins of the Hub when Andy arrives, walking over to Gwen who is watching the ongoing work from outside the Pierhead Building.

Gwen smiles and waves at Andy, before looking at his jeans and jumper, asking him, "You got a day off then?"

"Not exactly, I'm still on suspension, aren't I?" Andy leans back against the railing, next to Gwen. "All the disciplinary hearings got put back another month."

"It'll be all right." Gwen tries to reassure him, "They'll realise that you were only trying to do the right thing."

"I took off my uniform and joined in with a riot, I'm not sure it's going to be okay, not this time." He looks down. "Anyway, what about you? How are things going?"

"Me and Rhys?" She thinks for a moment, "Good, all things considered. I feel a bit guilty about it really, everybody else lost so much, and here's me about to start a family."

"That's life, I suppose. Can't always be bad for everybody, wouldn't be fair."

"I think I've given up believing in right or fair." Gwen looks away. "Right now I'd for not bloody awful."

There's an awkward silence for a moment, then Andy says, "You want to go get a cup of tea or something?"

Gwen looks at the very slowly progressing work, "All right, twenty minutes, then I'll have to be back, make sure they don't see anything they shouldn't."

The small cafe just off the Plas provides a reasonably good view of the work and Gwen watches as another piece of twisted metal is lifted free of the wreckage while Andy gets the teas.

"You definitely going to rebuild then?" Andy nods towards the remains of the Hub as he puts two mugs down on the table.

"We have to." Gwen smiles sadly, looking at the ruin of what had almost become like a second home to her in the past couple of years. "The aliens aren't just going to go away."

"Bit like the hoodies hanging around Queen Street and Bute Park on a Friday night then."

"You love it really." Gwen laughs, glad to have something amusing like comparing weevils to chavs to distract her, even if it's only for a moment. "You'll be back out on the beat in no time."

"I don't know if I want to." Andy sighs, and drinks some of his tea. "The DI said things would go better if I apologised, just say I'm sorry and that I won't do it again." He shakes his head. "I can't though, I'd be lying, because I'd do it again if I had too. All those kids, it just wasn't right."

"You know Andy," Gwen says thoughtfully, "If you don't go back, there's a job for you with Torchwood, if you want it."

"What me chasing round after aliens?" Andy laughs. "You must be joking."

"Just think about it." Gwen leans forward across the table, "It'd be like old times, you and me working together again."

"You really mean it, don't you?"

"There's just me and Jack left now, we can't run Torchwood by ourselves." Gwen says sadly. "But I'm not giving up, I can't. Owen and Tosh and Ianto died keeping this planet safe, and I'm not letting their deaths have been in vain." She gives Andy a determined look, "Torchwood will be something again. No more secrets, no more being pushed around and lied to. It starts here, Andy, here in Cardiff, then London, then Glasgow, all the old offices open again, I'm going to make sure of it."

Andy thinks for a moment before saying, "I wouldn't have to go to London or Glasgow would I? I'd just be working in Cardiff."

"So that's a yes?" Gwen asks enthusiastically.

"I must be mad, but yes, I'm in."

* * *

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Depriving a person of coffee, Ianto decides, should be added to the Geneva Convention as something that's not allowed to happen to prisoners. Although given that his legal status is dead, Ianto isn't sure that it would apply him anyway.

It's been over a week since Ianto woke up, and he's seen almost nobody since. His only real contact with the world being the uncommunicative doctor Alistair Munro, who'd been in the room when he's woke. Since then doctor Munro has been back three times to run tests, take more samples, and ignore all of Ianto's questions about what is going on and were he is.

The only other person that he's seen has been a cleaner who'd arrived with an armed guard. She'd cleaned the room, changed the sheets on the bed and left, all without speaking a word.

The food, provided three time a day, continues to be healthy but bland, while the boredom is barely relieved by the few trashy novels he's been provided with after telling doctor Munro that he needed something more to do that look at blank walls all day.

Ianto knows that he's still tiring easily, his attempts at exercise leave him feeling breathless and exhausted after just few minutes. Getting over something that should have been fatal, Ianto supposes, takes time. Knowing that though doesn't stop the slow progress – because there is progress, Ianto knows he can manage more activity now than he could a few days ago - from being frustrating and demoralising.

Yet if the days are boring, then the nights are the worse. Long hours of either laying sleepless in the dark, loneliness and fear preventing him from getting any rest, or it's disturbed sleep, punctuated with vivid, horrendous nightmares about pinned helpless under piles of rubble while his friends die around him. Images of the destruction of Torchwood one blurring with the abandoned building that had been destroyed by Captain John Hart with them inside and the most resent explosion that had destroyed Hub.

Nightmares are nothing new, but waking and having to deal with them alone hasn't been something Ianto's had to do for months - since Owen and Tosh died there had been very few nights that he and Jack hadn't spent together.

Ianto is lying in bed, on what is, as far as he can tell, is his tenth night since woke up there, when there's a commotion in the corridor outside the room.

Getting out of bed, Ianto listens at the door to the sound of indistinct shouting and running footsteps. As the disturbance gets closer Ianto is able to make out what is being said, although he doesn't recognise any of the people speaking.

"…can't do this. I work for UNIT."

"It doesn't matter who you worked for, you're not leaving. Now, if you'll just return to your room there'll be no more trouble."

"No! You can't keep just me here."

"I think you'll find we can."

"Who the fuck are you people?"

"You really don't need to know that."

"I've got a family, a wife, two kids, please just let talk to them, tell them I'm okay."

The desperation in the man's voice mirrors what Ianto is feeling, and Ianto finds it hard not to call out, to tell the man he's not alone, and that they're going to get out.

"That's not going to be possible, there were no survivors from Thames House. It was a tragedy, and one that they families are trying to put behind them."

"You bastards."

There is the sound of a scuffle, and a few heavy blows being landed, before someone says, "Shit. What did you let him get your gun for?"

"I didn't let him, he just-"

The sound of the gunshot in the narrow confines of the corridor is almost deafeningly loud and Ianto stumbles back from the door, a hand across his mouth.

A second shot sounds almost immediately afterwards, and is followed by the echoing of shoes on the tiled floor of the corridor. .

"Waste of a promising subject." Doctor Munro's distinctive Scottish accent seems loud in the silence that follows the gunshot. "They're not an unlimited resource you know, see this doesn't happen again."

Ianto is shivering as he gets back under the covers, a reaction as much to the chill room as to the callousness of the death that has happened just outside his door.

The realisation that he's not the only survivor of the alien virus is both comforting and confusing. Until now Ianto had thought, perhaps naively he now realises, that his survival had been due to Jack, that Jack had somehow saved him.

It's not longer just a case of him escaping, he has got to get the truth out, get the other people being held here out, before any more of them lose their lives.


	4. Secrets and Hope Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secrets and Hope (4/9)

"I think you've had enough, mate," Rhys says, walking over to where Jack is sat at the bar, a row of empty glasses in front of him.

"It's all my fault," Jack slurs, knocking back another tumbler of whiskey, not bothering to look at Rhys. "I still see them, hear them."

"Come on, let's get you home." Rhys puts an arm around Jack's waist hauling him off the barstool, and starts walking him to the door.

"Home," Jack says bitterly, stumbling beside Rhys, but not trying to get away. "Been a long time since I'd had one of those."

"Oh, right." Rhys looks uncomfortable. "Well you're coming back to mine and Gwen's then, no argument."

As soon as they are outside, Jack sways on his feet, the cold night air hitting him after sitting for so long in a warm pub. Pushing away from Rhys, Jack staggers over to the alleyway at the side of pub, before leaning heavily against the wall.

"Where are you going now?" Rhys starts after him.

Jack doesn't reply, just doubles over, stomach heaving as the alcohol he's drunk comes back up.

"Better out than in, I suppose." Turning away, to give Jack a little privacy, Rhys gets out his mobile and phones Gwen.

"Yeah, I found him. No, I've no idea where he's been, but he's in right state. I can see why you say he don't drink much." Rhys looks over at Jack who's now on his hands and knees, retching into the gutter. "I course I won't leave him here. See you soon."

Jack is silent on the drive back to the flat, his head rests against the window, eyes sad and barely focused as he takes no notice of the dark city streets passing by.

Gwen is on the phone, a stack of paperwork spread out on the table in front of her, when Rhys helps Jack through the door and over to the sofa.

Exhausted and drunk past being able to stand unaided, Jack slumps down onto the sofa as soon as Rhys lets go of him.

"You going to be okay?" Rhys asks, helping Jack take off his coat and boots

"Always going to be okay," Jack says hoarsely, not looking at Rhys. "No choice."

"Oh er right, you want anything, water or something? You going to have a killer hangover in the morning."

Jack shakes his head, curling up miserably on a sofa that's too small for him to sleep comfortably on.

"Well, you know where me and Gwen are if you change your mind."

Covering Jack with the throw that had been draped over the back of the sofa, Rhys goes to join Gwen at the table now that she's put the phone down. "I think we'd better let him sleep it off. So, your evening been any better than mine then, love?"

"I finally got in contact with Archie. He's still his usual charming self, but I think he's going to get Glasgow running properly again, actually recruit some people." Gwen smiles tiredly at Rhys as he sits down beside her. "I told him if he gets the office working again I'll put him up for early retirement, that seemed to do."

"Better than wandering round pubs for three hours and not getting a drink, then."

"You've not tried talking to Archie, I think I'd rather take the pubs." Gwen looks wistful for a moment, before saying, "I really miss being able to have a pint."

"They do alcohol free," Rhys says, trying to cheer her up. "We could out this Friday. Bananaboat's got a new girlfriend, we could all go to that new place that's opened up down near the Bay."

"An evening of alcohol free lager and Bananaboat, fun," Gwen says, obviously not meaning it.

"Oh don't be like that, I know he's a bit much sometimes, but he's a laugh, and we could do with that right now."

"Maybe you're right." Gwen still doesn't sound convinced. "I'll think about. One bit of good news though, I heard from Lois, she's managed to get the Future Options Committee to release funding for the London office."

"So London's going to be up and running soon?" Rhys looks impressed.

"Well up anyway. It'll just be Lois, Johnson, and a couple of other staff for the first few months, just making sure everything is in place for when it opens properly." Yawning, Gwen rubs her eyes. "I'll be glad when I don't have to keep phoning Whitehall or whichever stupid department they passing me on to. I don't know how Ianto used to do it."

"I miss him, I keep thinking 'Ianto would have known this' or 'Ianto would be so much better at dealing with these people'." She rests her head on Rhys' shoulder. "I nearly phoned him today."

Rhys puts his arm round her. "It'll be okay, just give it some time."

"If I didn't have the you, the baby and Torchwood to think about I reckon I'd go mad some days." Gwen sniffs and wipes her eyes, muttering, "Bloody hormones."

Leaning over Rhys gives her a quick kiss. "I think you're doing great."

"I just want there to be a Torchwood for Jack to come back to."

"You sure he'll want to come back?" Rhys looks over to where Jack moves restlessly in his alcohol induced sleep, a hand reaching out blindly for someone or something that isn't there. "Don't you think he's maybe he's given enough?"

"No!" Before Gwen can answer Jack sits up suddenly, looking around wild eyed, before covering his face with his hands, shoulders starting to shake.

Getting up, Gwen gives Rhys an 'I'm sorry' look, before walking over to Jack, and putting her arms round him.

Sighing, Rhys gets up as well and heads to the kitchen. "I'll go make us some tea then, shall I?"

* * *

By morning Jack is gone, a note left propped up on the coffee table. _Gone to stay with Martha for a few days. I just need to be away from here. I'm sorry. Jack._

Reading the note for a second time Gwen shakes her head, saying quietly, "Be okay Jack, please. I can't do this on my own."

* * *

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes two months for Ianto to discover the name of the facility where he's being held: The Audley Clinic.

No opportunities for escape have presented themselves though. Confined to the same room, the only times that Ianto has been permitted to leave it is with doctor Munro, who, since the incident with the UNIT soldier, accompanied by an armed guard. These excursions are only ever to testing labs located in other parts of the building. X-rays, brains scans, full body scans and tests of heart and lung capacity measured by running on a treadmill until he feels like his legs are going to give way.

It's during these tests that Ianto discovers how many others survived Thames House, fourteen, and that he is subject four. It's written on the top of all Munro's case notes about him, 4/14-TH.

Ianto's glad that he doesn't know the exact number of people working in Thames House when the 456 released their virus, although he suspects it was a few hundred. However he look at it, or usually tries not to, the death rate is about the same as what it had been at Canary Wharf after the Cybermen. Hundreds of grieving relatives never really knowing what had happened to their loved ones, the nearby buildings set up as temporary morgues while the bodies were identified.

The continued running and rerunning of the same tests for seemingly no purpose, and the frustrated look on the faces of doctor Munro and his colleagues when the results come back, tell Ianto that they are as much at a loss as to why there are any survivors at all as he is.

The only other benefit of these occasional excursions is that it gives Ianto the opportunity to learn a little more about the layout of the Audley Clinic. It's substantial, four storey building, and is set well away from any other houses. The level of security isn't military, nor is any of the technology that Ianto's seen anything other than what would be available to a hospital with a good budget.

In fact everything that Ianto has seen makes him think that it resembles the Pharm more than anything else, although considering what had happened to Owen there that's not a comforting thought. However, knowing that he's not going to have to deal with military level security does provide some reassurance that he may succeed in getting out of the place in one piece.

The fact that any escape attempt will mean that he'll almost certainly have to leave the other people – prisoners, really would be a better description he supposes – here, makes Ianto feel ill. He's not sure just how he's going to deal with it if some of the people die before he's had a chance to come back and rescue them, or if any of them die because of his escape.

Ianto knows that he'll deal with though, maybe not well or quickly, after all it's going to be joining the back of queue for things that he's not actually dealing with, but as long as he's got Jack though he knows he'll cope.

Jack. Jack who must be hurting so much right now, who probably needs to be held just as much Ianto need to hold him. Ianto knows that there is a vulnerability under all Jack's innuendo and brash smiles, a fear of loss and abandonment that runs so deep that sometime Ianto wonders how Jack copes knowing that immortality means the eventual loss of everybody and everything that he's ever know.

Thinking of Jack, his friends or family has, as the weeks have gone on, become more and more painful, the feelings of loss and isolation bringing tears to Ianto's eyes.

Startled by the door to his room opening, Ianto tries to hurriedly wipe away his tears, not wanting Dr Munro to see any signs of weakness. Looking over at the door, Ianto is surprised to find that his visitor isn't Dr Munro, but a women of about fifty, dressed in a labcoat, her greying shoulder length hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"No doctor Munro today?" Ianto says a little hoarsely, voice rough from holding back tears that are still threatening to fall.

"No, he's been assigned to the more promising subjects." The annoyance in her voice is clear. Her tone changes though as she notices his tears, and she says more kindly, "Are you all right?"

How the hell, Ianto wonders, is he supposed to be all right? He's being kept prisoner in near solitary confinement, he's prodded and poked and tested almost daily and he's got no idea if any of his friend and family are alive or safe.

It's hard not to shout at her, to tell her in no uncertain terms just what he thinks of the Audley Clinic, but that, he knows would gain him nothing. Her concern seems genuine and the potential, however unlikely, of an ally on the inside, or at least somebody sympathetic towards him, is too great a chance to be missed.

Ianto shakes his head, not bothering to hold back the tears, knowing that they are likely to help. "No."

Putting her clipboard on the small table by the bed, she sits down next to him, saying, "For what it's worth I wish there was some other way of researching the virus than putting people through this."

Ianto resists telling her that there are plenty of better ways that imprisoning a dozen people and telling their families that they are dead to research anything, choosing instead to let the tears continue to fall.

When Ianto doesn't reply she slowly puts an arm around his shoulders, a hand rubbing his arm. It's the first friendly contact that Ianto has had since Jack last held him, and rush of emotions threatens to overwhelm him. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"I had a son who'd have been about you age," she says sadly. "He looked a bit like you actually."

"I'm sorry." Ianto looks at her ID badge. "Doctor Armitage."

"You can call me Ruth, everybody else does." She hands him a tissue to dry his eyes, "Anyway Doctor Armitage makes me sound like my dad."

Wiping his eyes, Ianto decides on his course of action, and there only seems to be one way to go. Manipulating the sympathies of a women because of her dead son, Ianto thinks has got to be a new low, but his current situation leaves him little choice.

"When they get their answers will they let me go?" Ianto knows that the answer, regardless of what she tells him, is going to be no, or at least not alive. But sounding lost and naïve he's sure will serve him better.

"I don't know. Research hasn't been going as fast as hoped," Ruth admits, before adding, "The fact that we've working blind on most of this doesn't make it any easier."

"I might be able to help." Ianto glances over at the clipboard, realising this might be his best chance at getting some real information about just what is going on. He knows that they won't have access to the Torchwood archives, and he very much doubts that UNIT will be cooperating with whatever department it is that are behind the Audley Clinic.

"I doubt it." Ruth picks up the clipboard before Ianto has a chance to get a better look at the paperwork attached to it.

"I worked in the archives at Torchwood, before all this happened, there might be something that I recognise." It's a long shot, what he's managed to teach himself about medical matters since losing Owen has been basic, but somebody had had to do it, and it had seemed a natural progression for him to move from just disposing of bodies with a suitable to cover story to actually doing the autopsies on them as well. Torchwood really does have a way of twisting what you think of as natural or normal, Ianto thinks with bitter amusement as he waits for Ruth to reply.

Ruth looks doubtful as she considers it, saying, "I shouldn't show you any of the research, it's basic doctor patient confidentiality. They get little enough privacy as it is."

"What about my own file?" Ianto asks hopefully, unwilling to give up now that he's so close to finally getting some useful information. "I should be able to see that, and who knows you might get the research breakthrough before doctor Munro." Ianto smiles at her, "A little revenge for him taking the most promising subjects."

"It would take the smug smile of his face," she muses, before suddenly handing Ianto the clipboard, saying, "All right, just don't tell anyone I let you see this."

"You won't regret it," Ianto says smiling at her, and hoping that he won't be him ends up being the one regretting ever helping her.


	5. Secrets and Hope Chapter 5

"It doesn't look so bad." Gwen tries to sound optimistic as she look at the large hole that occupies the centre of the Plas now that the Hub has been cleared of debris.

"Not if you like craters," Andy says looking over the barrier beside her, and down into what had been Torchwood three.

"All the lower levels are still intact, including the archives and the central computer system is still working."

"Just needs a bit of paint then." Andy doesn't sound convinced.

"Builders start on Monday." Gwen smiles and shakes her head, before starting to walk across the Plas. After a moment she turns back to Andy, saying, "Well come on then."

Andy follows Gwen to the boarded up tourist office.

The tourist office has been packed up, all the leaflets and maps boxed up, every trace that it was ever used gone. Gwen runs her finger along the desk, leaving a trail in the dust, her expression sad.

After a moment Gwen presses a switch hidden under the desk and the to the side of her wall slides back to reveal a short section of corridor that ends in a flight of stairs.

"We're keeping that, right?" Andy gestures at the wall, looking impressed.

"I guess so." Gwen starts down the stairs, "I've not really thought about it."

The stairway shows very little damage from the blast, only a few small cracks in the stone giving any indication that it has been effected at all.

Andy notices them those and asks as they reach half way, "Are you sure you should be doing this?"

"The baby's not due for another five months, I can walk down some stairs you know," Gwen replies irritably, her tone suggesting that she's already had far too many people telling her what she should and shouldn't be doing.

"I mean wander round a building site." Andy glance around to check that nothing is about to collapse and fall on either of them.

"Somebody has to check that everything's secure and that the builders can't get into the archives or the lower levels."

"I could do it."

"Andy, please. I just need to feel like I'm still useful."

"Oh right. Sorry," Andy apologies and follows Gwen in to the Hub.

The interior of the Hub has been gutted, and no traces of where the workstations or Jack's office were remain. The only familiar feature still present is the dragon mural on the wall, its paint blackened and peeling in places where the fire that followed the bomb blast has got to it.

The lighting and power is still operational in much of the Hub, the central computer system maintaining many of the systems, the back ups and extra shielding which Tosh had installed having protected it from any serious damage.

Gwen checks the doors down to the cells and the archives, opening them then closing them again and resetting the electronic locks and alarms.

They are just about to leave when Andy bends down reaches through the gap in one the gratings that still cover the floor of the main part of the Hub. "Looks like someone lost one of those fancy GPS watches."

"It's Jack's," Gwen says, taking it from Andy before he can protest, and turns the battered vortex manipulator over in her hands, trying not to think about how the dark stains got onto the leather cuff.

Andy is quiet for a moment before asking, "How's he doing?"

"I don't know." Gwen sighs, and puts the vortex manipulator into her coat pocket. "Going to see Martha seemed to help a bit, but he's not the same. He doesn't laugh or joke any more, and I can't remember the last time I saw him smile. It's like I've lost him too."

"Just give him time." Andy puts an arm round her.

"That's what Rhys says," Gwen says wanly.

"I suppose he's got to get it right sometimes, law of averages, right?"

"Andy, don't." Gwen shrugs off his arm, saying irritably, "I know you don't always get on with Rhys, but I really can't be dealing with it right now."

"Okay, shutting up," Andy says good naturedly, before changing the subject and pointing at the pocket where Gwen had put the vortex manipulator, asking "So what you going to do with it?"

Gwen thinks for a moment before replying, "Try to get it fixed I suppose. Martha will probably know somebody who can help."

"What about Johnson? She might know somebody," Andy says as they start to walk back towards the stairs up the old tourist office.

"I'm not sure I want the sort of people who Johnson knows knowing about this." Gwen sets the door alarm behind them as they leave, "I mean I trust her and Lois, but the people she worked for I don't know them, and I don't want to."

"You didn't used to be like this you know," Andy says, "You used to trust people."

"Maybe I'm just seeing things as they really are now." Gwen smiles sadly as she presses the button to close the wall behind them, shutting off the Hub once more. "I used to think Ianto was being miserable when he said things like that, but he was right, Torchwood changes you."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas has already gone when the package finally arrives, the UNIT officer looking a little confused at why he's delivering a small box to a house in Cardiff.

Opening the box Gwen smiles. Inside is the vortex manipulator, the leather cleaned and the broken cover on the panel inside replaced, a note from Martha placed along side it.

 _Gwen,_

 _Hope you're keeping well, and I'm sorry I can't make it to your New Years party, we're still run off our feet here, the clean up operation from the 456 is taking forever._

 _Professor Taylor says that he's fixed as much of the vortex manipulator as he can, I think he was sorry to have to hand it back, he was absolutely fascinated by it._

 _How is Jack doing these days? I've not heard from him since his visit._

 _Hope to be able to visit soon,_

 _Martha._

Putting the note in her pocket, Gwen phones Jack to make sure he'll be at the party that evening.

The New Years party is in full swing, Bananaboat trying to convince Rhys to let him make cocktails for everybody when Gwen finally gets a moment alone with Jack.

"I've got a surprise for you." Gwen takes hold of Jack's hand, getting him to follow her into the kitchen and away from the rest of the guests. "Close your eyes."

"I didn't know it was that sort of party." The humour is forced and the smile that accompanies it strained.

"It's not. Now close you eyes."

Jack opens his eyes as he feels Gwen buckle the vortex manipulator about his wrist, and looks at her with amazement before hugging her tightly.

"Where did you find it?" Jack is smiling faintly as he runs a finger across the worn leather, "I didn't think I'd ever see it again."

"I didn't, Andy found it just before the builders started work on the Hub. I'd wanted to give it to you at Christmas, but it wasn't fixed," Gwen says apologetically, before adding, "Maybe this is better though, a new year, a new start."

"Yeah." Jack's voice is thick with emotion, "A new start."

"Martha called in some favours, got the teleporter part of it fixed." Gwen opens the panel on the cuff, to show Jack where the cracked glass cover has been replaced. "It's not completely fixed, there was a lot of things that Martha said they had no idea what they did, so they left them as they were."

"The Doctor didn't help then?" Jacks expression is unreadable, although there's a trace of hope in his voice.

"No, I don't think Martha contacted him about it."

"Didn't think so," Jack says sadly, closing it again. "The Doctor broke it you know, not the explosion."

"I'm sure he didn't mean to." Gwen puts her hand on Jack's arm, "Accidents happen."

"He meant to." There's anger in Jack' voice now, "If he hadn't maybe we wouldn't have lost Tosh or Owen. I could have taken Tosh to the hospital, or got Owen out before-" Jack pauses sounding choked, "And Ianto I could have saved him, and Steven, I could have found another way. Now it's too late."

"Oh Jack, it's never too late. There are still so many people we can help."

"Why?" Jack says bleakly, eyes wet with unshed tears, "There's no one left."

Gwen can't keep the hurt from her face as Jack turns and walks away, letting himself out of the house.

Standing alone in Gwen and Rhys' small back garden Jack looks up at the sky, the stars above him lost in a blur of tears.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas and then New Year come and go at the Audley Clinic with no opportunity for escape. It's lonely and miserable time despite the fact that Ruth visits him most days and Ianto can feel any hope that he had of seeing Jack and his friends and family start to fade.

Ruth has become his lifeline to the outside world, bringing him newspapers and books on some of her visits, as well as trusting him with much of the research information.

The realisation that Ruth is as lonely as he is came just before Christmas when he'd asked what she was doing with her days off, and she'd replied that she wasn't taking any Christmas holiday this year as she'd just be sat at home on her own.

The new year does however provide new information as Ruth continues to bring Ianto medical report, having overcome her original reservation about allowing Ianto to see the other patients notes.

"There is one strange thing," Ruth says, flicking through the pages until she reaches the toxicology report, "All the survivors have an unknown compound present in their bloodstream."

"Unknown?" Ianto gives her a questioning look.

"Well not exactly unknown, it's being flagged up as classified compound B67. We've not been able to get anymore information than that." Ruth hands Ianto the report, "Everything that we've found so far points to the information having been lost a few years ago when the archives at Torchwood London were lost. Not that they've have shared it with us anyway."

"Compound B67?" Ianto looks at the report, shocked. It makes no sense at all, why would all the survivors have been exposed to Retcon? There has been no opportunity or reason for the Retcon to have been administered to any of them since the attack, even if the Audley Clinic knew what it was, which only leaves the option that it had been taken before.

"From what we've been able to determine about B67, that it's reacts with certain proteins associated with memory formation. Our current theory is that virus has a permanent effect on brain chemistry, it would seem to fit with its rapid onset, that it shuts down brain functions first which is why it's so rapidly fatal in most cases."

"Doctor Munro is talking about taking brain tissue samples to confirm it," she adds with distaste.

"No." Ianto doesn't want to share this information with them, but if it prevents somebody, especially as he's got a 1 in 14 chance of it being him, from getting their brain poked about with he'll do it. "I know what it is."

"You do?" Ruth gives him a curious look.

"Compound B67 is nothing to do with the 456, it's the official name for a substance that causes amnesia. Torchwood One invented it, called it Retcon. They used it to stop the public finding out about aliens."

"So all the survivors have had part of their memory wiped at some point?" Ruth shakes her head, "Talk about unlucky."

"They survived," Ianto says flatly, the realisation that it had, in a way, been Jack that had saved him after all starting to sink in. They'd all had a couple of missing days back the previous year, and Jack had signed the paperwork for the Retcon, with a warning that they shouldn't try to get back those memories, ever.

"You don't sound very happy about that," Ruth says, sounding confused. "Or didn't you know that you'd had been given B67 until now?"

"I knew." Ianto closes his eyes, remembering waking up at the boardroom table, Tosh, Owen and Gwen, still asleep around him, and being more worried by the fact that Jack wasn't with them than what had happened to himself.

"Is that the problem?"

"No, you wouldn't understand." Ianto turns away hoping that Ruth will take the hint and leave him alone with the memories of him and Jack holding each other tightly, trying to calm their fears of what could have happened in those missing days. Some things are still too private for Ianto to want to open up to anybody about, especially as he's still not sure how he feels about some of those things himself. It's not embarrassment or shame that makes him want to keep it private it's because what he has - had - with Jack is special, it's theirs alone,

"I could try." Ruth smiles encouragingly at him. "I don't think there's much left that surprises or shocks me these days."

Ianto shakes his head. He appreciates what she is trying to do, she is after all the nearest thing he has to a friend, and if the circumstances were different he knows might consider talking to her about it.

"Well I'm here if you change your mind."

"I know." Ianto forces a smile, experience having taught him that it's the best tactic in convincing people he's fine when he's really not. "Now let's see if we can find out where the people came in contact with the Retcon, maybe the quantity of the dose they received has an effect how well they resisted the virus."

Working like this isn't perfect, it's far from it, but it's a good distraction from what feels like a hopeless situation, and at the moment Ianto thinks that the best he can hope for.


	6. Secrets and Hope Chapter 6

With no computer access of his own, and unable to risk giving Ruth, however much he has come to trust her, access to the Torchwood database, Ianto knows that finding out just how and when the other thirteen people were exposed to Retcon will be difficult.

The information held on file about them by the Audley Clinic is fairly detailed, and it's immediately obvious that none of the people have any connection with Cardiff, so the likelihood of them having been given the Retcon by Torchwood Three is small.

Unfortunately that only leaves them being given it by Torchwood One. Finding out more than that Ianto knows is unlikely, as many of the records from Torchwood One had been lost during the attack, and still more in the chaos that followed as rescue workers tried to rescue the few survivors and put out the fires that had broken out amongst the wreckage.

Perhaps most interestingly, in Ianto's opinion is that two of the people are UNIT personal, their files showing that they had served on board the Valiant. Ianto suspects that it was after the events there, events that Jack has only told him about in the vaguest terms, that they received the Retcon.

The fact that UNIT personnel had been given Retcon at all confirms something that Ianto has suspected for a while, that Jack had been more heavily involved in the clean up operation on the Valiant that he'd admitted. Not that he holds it against Jack for not telling him, Ianto knows that whatever happened there is something that Jack probably wishes he could Retcon away as well.

It's just one of the many things that Ianto hopes that he'll have the opportunity to tell Jack about, as the fact that his involvement by giving them Retcon has saved their lives might help him feel a little better about what happened at Thames House.

Ianto hasn't been able to find out anymore about what happened, except that the 4-5-6 had been defeated and that it had cost Jack his grandson, and that in some form Torchwood continues exist. The fact that Torchwood is still operational is oddly comforting, and not just for the fact that it means that Jack and Gwen have survived, it's being part of something that no matter what happens to it it goes on.

With the fall of Torchwood One and Lisa's eventual death any hopes that Ianto had had about growing old with a family of his own had died. Torchwood is his family, his legacy now, and knowing that it will continue long after he is gone and that it will go on keeping Earth safe is the best he can hope for.

The days continue drag on at the clinic, although gradually Ianto notices that the atmosphere has changed, there's a sense of impatience about the people carrying out the tests.

The reason, as Ruth tells him on one of her frequent visits, is that everybody is worried about the six month performance review. It makes sense, progress has been slow, and since the connection with Retcon had been made no further breakthroughs have occurred.

Ruth has tried to reassure him that whatever happens regarding the review she'll keep him in her study group and not hand him back over to Doctor Munro. Ultimately though Ianto knows that the decision isn't in her hands and that however much she'll try to keep him from being a part of Doctor Munro's more invasive testing, if those people in charge of the research decide that he should be she won't have any choice but to comply with their demands.

For now though Ianto decides it's not worth worrying about, as it's entirely out of his hands, instead concentrating on helping Ruth with her research, hoping that if her research is ahead of Doctor Munro's then she'll be allowed to carry on with her method of study.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gwen stands at her and Rhys' bedroom window and looks out at Cardiff, and into the distance at the empty hillside where Jack had stood just an hour before. "I can't believe he's really gone."

"He might come back," Rhys says, as he walks over to her. "You never know, stranger things have happened."

Gwen shakes her head, before saying sadly, "Not this time, you heard him, he's running as far away from Cardiff and me as he can."

"He's not running away from you, love."

"He is," Gwen says sadly, turning round to face Rhys. "He lost his grandson and in a couple of months we'll have a child of our own. I don't blame him not wanting to stay and see."

Rhys frowns. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Neither had I until Lois mentioned it."

"Talking of Lois," Rhys puts his arms around her, "You said you had to be up early to meet her, so she could do something with the computers. Maybe if you get some sleep things will look better in the morning."

"I don't know how they can." Gwen leans back against Rhys with a sigh. "I'm in charge of it all now, aren't I."

"You did it before," Rhys tries to reassure her. "Did a good job of it too, as I remember."

"I had Owen and Tosh and Ianto to help me last time. What if I make a mess of it? People could die, Rhys, and it would be my fault."

"Of course it wouldn't, you'd have tried."

"Trying might not be good enough." Gwen's hand trays to her stomach, her voice not entirely steady. "I've got to keep the world safe, for him, for us. I've seen the things that are out there."

"You're not doing this alone you know, you've got Andy and Lois and Johnson, and you said you'd started looking for more staff." Rhys tries to comfort her. "And you've got me. I could make us some cheese toasties," Rhys offers. "Can't be sad when you're eating a cheese toastie."

"Cheese on toast? That's your answer."

"Why not?" Rhys says a little defensively, "Can't save the world on an empty stomach."

"You're daft, you know that?" Gwen laughs and hugs Rhys, "But I'm so glad I married you."

Laughing as well now, Rhys kisses Gwen, their troubles temporarily forgotten.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the early hours of the morning when Ianto is woken up by Ruth shaking his shoulder and whispering urgently to him, "You've got to get up."

Bleary eyed, Ianto looks at her confused, before asking, "What's happening?

"You've getting out of here tonight." Ruth hands Ianto a bag containing a t-shirt, some jeans and a pair of shoes. "And I'm going to help you."

"What's changed?" Ianto asks quietly, pulling the clothes from the bag. It's a surprise that Ruth is doing this, but he isn't about to turn down the offer of help to escape and he trusts her enough to know that this isn't a trick.

"The research plans. I saw the recommendations made by the board of governors, I wasn't supposed to see them until tomorrow, but Doctor Munro had them on his desk and I was curious." Ruth keeps her head turned away as Ianto starts to get dressed. "He's planning to re-infect a quarter of the patients with the 456 virus to test for continued immunity. Your name was on the list."

Ianto shivers and not just because the room is cold and he's half-naked. He's not allowed himself to dwell on the details of what he'd thought at the time to be his death, and if he's honest dying in Jack's arms hadn't been the worse way to go. This though, being deliberately re-infected and having Doctor Munro watch and record his last few breaths with clinical dispassion makes his stomach churn.

Not that there's time to really think abut that now. Dressing as quickly as he can, it feels almost surreal to know that in a few short minutes time he'll be on his way to freedom for the first time in months.

"I don't know how long you'll have until they raise the alarm, but it won't be long." Once Ianto has finished dressing Ruth hands him her keycard, saying, "If you can get to one of the doors you can use this to get outside. There's a staff car park to the right of the main entrance, it's got a barrier and there's a security guard, but you might be able to take a car before anyone sees you."

"Any other way out?" Ianto asks, knowing that hotwiring a car is something he's not exactly proficient in. He's sure that given enough time he could manage it, but time isn't going to be on his side tonight.

Ruth thinks for a moment. "Well if you can get across the lawns without being seen and into the woodland at the edge of the estate there's a river, if you follow it downstream you'll reach Henley in Arden, it's on the mainline between Birmingham and Stratford-upon-Avon. You could catch a train."

Neither of the two options holds any particular appeal, but losing himself in the crowds in Birmingham does sound like it might have a slightly better chance of success.

"You'll need evidence and some money." Ruth gets some of the test notes from her labcoat pocket, before taking thirty pound from out of her purse and handing them both to Ianto.

"Thank you." Ianto takes the papers and the money from her, pushing them into his pockets, asking, "What about the other patients? Are you getting them out as well?"

Ruth shakes her head, "I can't."

"Why me?"

"You're Torchwood, you've got connections, you can come back and shut this place down. None of the others stand a chance."

"Will somebody else have to take my place in the test?" Ianto asks, feeling sick at the though that his freedom could cost of somebody else their life.

"I don't know." Ruth looks at him sadly. "I really don't. I'll try to get them to hold back the tests for a few days, say we need to re-evaluate the test group. Try to get you enough time to get back here and stop them."

"What if they suspect you're involved in my escape?" Ianto hesitates at the door to his room. Ruth has been a good friend to him, the only one he's had in the last six months, and he doesn't want to think what might happen to her if Doctor Munro or anybody else who's in charge finds out she has helped him.

"It doesn't matter. I've been part of this too long, it's time I did something right." Ruth gives him a quick hug. "Now get going, don't let this have been for nothing."

"I won't, I promise." Ianto hugs her back. "And it does matter." Then, heart pounding, Ianto slips out of his room and makes his way quickly and quietly along the empty corridors. Most of the doors he comes to are locked, and even with the key card he knows that it's likely that there will be guards on the exits.

Eventually Ianto finds a door to a ground floor utility room that has been left unlocked. Knowing that every second counts, he climbs up onto the sink to reach the only window in the room. It's small, but Ianto is sure that he'll fit.

Nearly dying, followed six months without takeaways certainly is slimming, Ianto decides as he squeezes through the window. It's still a tight fit, but dropping down on the lawn below Ianto has never been so glad of the bland, healthy food that they've been feeding him.

Ianto waits for a moment listening for any indication that his escape has been noticed. There's nothing, but Ianto doubts it will stay that way for long, and decides that speed rather than stealth is probably the best course of action.

Keeping to the shadows until he's clear of the house, as soon as he is Ianto starts to run, not stopping until he's across the lawns and into the woodland.

It doesn't take Ianto long to find the river. Deep, cold, swiftly flowing, Ianto hesitates knowing that being in the water for any length of time in freezing early March cold would be asking for hypothermia.

The sound of an alarm and the sudden sweep of lights from the clinic, accompanied by the barking of dogs leaves Ianto with no other real option, and with the sounds pursuit coming closer he dives in.


	7. Secrets and Hope Chapter 7

The water is freezing cold, but Ianto swims for as long as he can before surfacing for air, knowing that every second he manages it will improve his chances of escape.

Ianto's not sure how far he's swum before the water starts shallows and he has to abandon swimming in favour of wading. Uncertain of how far it is to Henley-in-Arden and not knowing how far he's come Ianto stops when he reaches a bridge that crosses the river and listens.

Hearing no sound of pursuit behind him Ianto decides to abandon the river in favour of the roads hoping to find some indication of where he is and what direction he needs to go to reach the station.

Scrambling up the bank, Ianto hides in the shadow of the bridge, and listens again, both for those following him and for traffic. When, after a couple of long, cold minutes he hears none Ianto ventures up on to the quiet country road.

The faint moonlight that reflects off a road sign a few yards from the bridge, telling him that the small town of Henley-in-Arden is less than a mile away.

Ianto knows that he's got to get dry clothes fairly quickly if he's going to be in any shape to continue his escape, or at least find somewhere that he can dry the clothes he's currently wearing. Until then Ianto knows that he's got to keep moving, both to keep warm and to avoid being found, and he starts walking quickly toward Henley.

Ianto hasn't been walking long before the countryside gives way to a residential area, and after looking in the gardens of the first few houses that he passes Ianto finds one that has washing left out on the line. Thankful that although the night is cold it's also dry and frost free, Ianto takes jeans and a jumper before getting out of sight amongst trees that line the road opposite the house.

Ianto feels bad about taking the clothes, but he knows he can't stay in what he's wearing. They aren't a particularly good fit, but they're dry and Ianto dresses quickly, glad of the warmth they provide, before continuing on his way into Henley-in-Arden.

The station, when Ianto reaches it, is unstaffed, the platform empty apart from a ticket machine and a small, locked waiting room.

There is still no sign of anybody from the Audley Clinic, and Ianto wonders if Ruth has somehow managed to get them to search in the wrong places, or if they have just assumed that his first action would be to call Torchwood, and are listening in for any calls.

Shivering, Ianto smiles grimly, he knows exactly how he would track himself if he were in their place – he also knows how he can avoid it - no contact with Torchwood or his family until this is over. It's a hard decision to make, but Ianto hates the idea of putting them in danger, especially when there are other people who he can contact for help.

There's no alarm on the waiting room, probably, Ianto decides, because there's nothing in there worth taking, just a couple of rows of plastic seats. It only takes a couple of minutes for Ianto to get the door open.

Inside the heating is on in preparation for the commuters who'll be arriving in the next couple of hours. Sitting down by one of the heating vents, Ianto is glad of the warm air that's drying his hair and relieving the chill that seems to have worked it's way in to every part of him.

As soon as he feels warmer Ianto takes the notes from his pocket. He's relieved to find that the paper hasn't disintegrated, and that Ruth's writing is in biro, the ink not having run with its submersion in the river Alne.

Spreading the notes out on the floor by the vent, Ianto waits for them to dry. He knows it's risky drying the notes here just in case he's discovered, but the sooner the notes are dry the more information is likely to survive.

The wait for the first train of the day to stop at Henley-in-Arden station is nerve wracking, but eventually the 6.45 arrives, and a few minutes later Ianto is on his way, the now nearly dry notes tucked back into his pocket.

The journey into Birmingham is uneventful, being able to buy a ticket with some of the money that Ruth gave him meaning that he doesn't have to try to dodge the conductor as he checks everybody's tickets.

By the time Ianto arrives at Birmingham, Snow Hill station is bustling with commuters, and after so long seeing very few people and interacting with even less the crowds seem noisy and chaotic.

They are easy to disappear amongst, to become just another face in the crowd. The fact that he's been declared dead, Ianto knows, actually works in his favour, as they can't easily put out any public requests for finding him in case anybody at Torchwood or any of his family sees it and realises something is going on.

Leaving the station it doesn't take Ianto long to find an internet café, although this early in the morning the only other people there are commuters checking their emails and the latest stocks and shares as they wait for their trains.

Ianto knows that he looks out of place amongst them, and it's with regret that he finds himself looking at the smart suit of a man a couple of tables away. It makes him wonder what Jack will have done with his suits - will he have kept them, got rid of them or put them into storage?

It's not just his clothes though, Ianto realises, finally allowing himself to think about it now that he's free, it's all his possessions, his flat, his car, everything, all of it will have been disposed of, his entire life gone.

Ianto has never consider himself to a materialistic person, and it's not losing the flat or the car that saddens him the most, it's the small things, the last Christmas card he got from Tosh, the postcards he and Lisa had bought on their only holiday together in France and had then never posted because Lisa couldn't decide which ones to send, or the photo of him and Jack dancing at Gwen's wedding, the little irreplaceable things that mean so much.

There no time to dwell on it though, and Ianto pushes down the feeling of loss to be dealt with once all this is over. Ordering a coffee, Ianto sits down at one of the computers and after opening a few generic web pages so that any casual observer would just see somebody reading the news headlines or a film review, he accesses Torchwood Three's computer network.

After Tosh's death Ianto had taken over much of the running of the Torchwood computer systems. With his own login disabled - not that Ianto would risk using it and alerting anybody to his presence, especially given that Johnson had already hacked the systems in the past and he can't be sure that she's no longer watching - Ianto uses the backup login.

The backup login system had been developed by Tosh as a failsafe when Jack had been missing in case they were all locked out of their accounts or if the entire team was wiped out all at once, so there would be a way for whoever was brought in to run Torchwood Three to access the computer systems.

The plans for the new layout of the Hub look good, the mismatched architecture of over a century of partial rebuilds removed, and a new more functional design built.

Ianto knows he doesn't need to look at half of the things he's reading, not yet, but be can't stop. There's Andy's recommendation that stab vests would be a good idea when dealing with weevils, Gwen's dates for maternity leave, the paper work for Jack's resignation from Torchwood.

The coffee mug shakes in Ianto's hand, and he puts it down, before rubbing a hand across his eyes. Of all the things that he'd thought to find on his escape from the Audley Clinic Jack being gone hadn't been one of them.

Closing his connection to the Hub and erasing his browser history, Ianto finishes his coffee and leaves the café.

Finding a phone box that's working, and is somewhere that isn't surrounded by people who can overhear him is more difficult than Ianto had thought it would be, and it's only after half an hour of wandering around that he finds one.

Using a payphone isn't ideal, as Ianto knows that it limits what he can openly say, but it does have the advantage that since he's chosen the phone at random there is virtually no chance of the line being tapped.

Using the last of the money that Ruth gave him, Ianto phones the one person who has access to the resources to help and who's unlikely to be being watched; Martha.

The phone rings until Ianto is sure that it's going to go over to voicemail, and he is considering hanging up, knowing that he can't leave a message, when Martha answers.

"Hello."

"Martha, it's Ianto. I know this is going to sound strange, but-"

"Strange doesn't begin to cover it." Martha sounds annoyed, "A sick joke maybe, now who is this?"

"It really is me, just listen, please."

"Ianto died six months ago. I don't know who you are or what you want, but what whatever it is you're not going to get it."

Looking around to make sure there isn't anybody close enough to hear, Ianto says quietly and urgently, "What I want is for you to contact UNIT and help me rescue the thirteen people whose deaths were faked along with mine." Ianto looks at the display on the phone, the credit dropping fast, knowing that he's only got a couple of minutes to convince her. "We can argue this all day, but I'm going to run out of credit before then and these people are going to run out of time. Either you can believe that I'm telling the truth and I am Ianto and I need you to help me, or that I'm lying or an alien or a clone or something else in which case UNIT need to stop me. Either way somebody needs to come here and get me."

Martha is quiet for a moment before saying, "If you're lying you won't have to worry about UNIT, I'll stop you myself."

"I'm not," Ianto promises. "If you need something to convince UNIT to come and pick me up then the fact that one of the people being held is a UNIT soldier, Darren Wicks, should do it. There was another, Robert Price, he tried to escape, and they killed him. Check the casualty list for Thames House, they'll be on it, the bodies won't have been returned to their families though, just ashes."

"That's what they said…" Martha trails off, sounding horrified.

"About me. I know," Ianto says quickly, seeing that his credit is nearly gone. "Call me back on this phone once you've got UNIT to agree to come and get me, tell me how long it will be."

"Alright. I'll be as quick as I can."

"See you-" Ianto stops as the dial tone cuts in, before adding quietly to the now empty line, "Soon."

Sitting down on a low wall opposite the phone box, Ianto waits for Martha to call him back.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's a bit Thunderbirds, isn't it," Andy says looking down from the boardroom to the newly finished lift. Above on the Plas the fountain has been rebuilt in a similar style, although now rather than being a single pillar it's a tall central column with four shorter ones around it, the invisible lift exiting between the two smaller columns that face the Millennium Centre.

"Thunderbirds?" Lois says, giving Andy an amused look as she glances over from where she's monitoring the system start up from her laptop.

"Well it is. Top secret organisation that everybody has heard of, underground base."

"The SUV is hardly a spaceship, and they had a tropical island."

Walking in to the boardroom carrying an armful of files Gwen smiles a little wistfully at them, remembering other times in the Hub when other such good natured banter had been common place. That it's present again means that things are getting back to what passes for normal at Torchwood, and for Gwen it seems to heighten the sense of what has been lost.

Putting the files down on the table, Gwen walks over to one of the new additions to the boardroom, a plaque bearing the names of all those who have worked for Torchwood Three. The plaque is large, the litany of names stretching back to the opening of Torchwood Cardiff back in the 1890's seeming almost endless.

Looking through the records Gwen had found that Torchwood Three used to run with a staff of at least seven people, and that when it had been fully staffed people had actually gone on retire, in the 1920's and 30's active service of over twenty years hadn't been unusual, before they went into semi-retired consulting post. In more resent years as Torchwood Three had become short staffed and it's operatives overworked with everybody needing to be able to cover at least two key roles in the team the life expectancy had, unsurprisingly, dropped.

Gwen runs her finger over the last of the names, and sighs. "All our names will be on here one day."

"Well that's cheerful," Andy grumbles.

"I mean everybody who ever works for Torchwood will have their name here, no one will ever be forgotten. Surely that's a good thing?"

"I suppose so. Still seems a bit morbid though."

Gwen looks likes she's going to argue for a moment, before shaking her head, and pointing at the files she brought in. "Want to give me a hand with these? You'll be working with these people as much as me, more probably once I go on leave."

Gwen hadn't wanted to recruit anybody not so soon, but unable to take part in the capture or disposal of aliens herself, and with Jack gone leaving everything to Andy is risking his life - a risk that Gwen knows that she can't take.

"All right."

They've only just started to look through the files when Lois says, mostly to herself, "That's odd."

"What is?" Gwen asks looking up from what she's reading.

"It looked like there was another user on the system, now they're gone."

"A hacker?"

"I don't think so, it looked like an old login, something the system recognised." Lois tries to get the information back on her laptop, without success. "It might have been triggered by the set up. I don't know, this system is so complicated."

"Find out what you can."

"I think that's going to have to wait," Andy says, looking at his phone. "You know I said I'd get a few of the lads back at the station to let us know if there's anything odd going on, well there's what sounds like a weevil in over in Splott."

"There's a place called Splott?" Lois sounds amused.

"And it's just as lovely as it sounds," Andy says cheerfully, getting up from his seat. "Come on, you can help catch your first alien."

"Lucky me." Lois follows Andy out of the boardroom.

"I'll just stay and coordinate from here then," Gwen says mostly to herself as she watches them leave.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's only twenty minutes later that the phone rings and Martha tells Ianto that both she and some UNIT personnel are on their way, although since they are driving from near Bedford they'll be at least an hour and a half.

After agreeing to meet them at the cathedral; most of the other places that Ianto can think of in Birmingham being too crowded with people if their meeting goes wrong, Ianto wanders around a few of the shops, before making his way there.

UNIT arrive as covertly as they can, although Ianto spots them as soon as their vehicles come into sight; military landrovers being more than a little out of place in a cathedral car park.

Martha gets out of the first of the two vehicles, closely followed by two armed UNIT soldiers.

Glad that for the moment there aren't any other people around to see, Ianto walks forward slowly, not wanting to give the soldiers any reason to consider him a threat.

While the soldiers keeps their guns pointed at Ianto another, carrying a handheld scanning device which Ianto suspected has more than a little alien tech in its construction, gets out from the second vehicle.

"Stand still." He sweeps the scanner over Ianto, stopping occasionally to check the readings. "Now turn round."

Ianto tenses as he feels the soldier's hand on the back of his neck, but stays still.

"You can turn back round now."

Switching off the scanner the soldier turns to Martha. "No Probic vent, all his other readings are human, so either he is who he says he is or we've got real problems."

Martha smiles, then nods at the soldiers who still have their guns pointed at Ianto. "Stand down."

The soldiers lower their guns and there's an awkward moment with them just staring at each other, then Martha steps forward and hugs Ianto.

"Jack's thing isn't catching, is it?" Martha asks quietly, still hugging him.

Ianto shakes his head, holding on to Martha tightly, unable for a moment to speak. It seems too incredible that, after everything that has happened in the last six months that he safe and amongst friends.

When Ianto doesn't answer Martha lets go of him and steps back, saying, "Probably a stupid question, but how are you?"

"Alive, hungry." Ianto smiles, trying to reassure her. "In need of a decent cup of coffee."

Martha looks a little concerned, as if she doesn't quite believe that Ianto is as okay with everything as he's saying, but doesn't mention it, saying instead, "We can get food and coffee on the way, it'll be at a service station though."

Turning to the soldiers she says, "Ianto will travel with me."

"Where are we going?" Ianto asks, relieved that Martha is, for the moment at least, not pressing the matter.

"Northampton, we've got a meeting with Colonel Mace," Martha says walking back over to the landrover. "He's interested in what you have to say. He was furious over the bodies not being returned to their families, and now, well I don't think I've seen him this angry since what happened with the Atmos devices."

"He believes me then?" Ianto says, surprised as he hadn't dared hope that convincing UNIT to help would be this easy. "He's going to help?"

"Depending on how this meeting goes I think he might go after them himself."

"Good," Ianto says getting into the landrover and sitting down next to Martha. "Just don't let him leave me behind."

Looking out of the window, Ianto watches Birmingham pass by with little interest, his mind focused on what to say at the meeting that will, he hopes lead to his quick, and armed return to the Audley Clinic.


	8. Secrets and Hope Chapter 8

Sitting with Martha in the officer's mess, the UNIT personnel having eaten sometime before, Ianto picks at the food in front of him, trying to avoid the inevitable questions about how he is now that they are alone.

So far Ianto knows that he has been lucky to keep the conversation to business, the drive to Northampton filled with telling Martha about the research that the Audley Clinic is carrying out, and the level of security at the facility.

Getting to the UNIT base had taken longer than expected, the traffic on the motorway barely moving in places due to road works, and it had been late afternoon by the time they'd arrived and the meeting had actually started.

The meeting with Colonel Mace has been everything that Ianto had expected it to be: long, repetitive as the various experts that Colonel Mace had brought with him each seemed to ask the same questions just in slightly different way, and eventually frustrating, as while they do believe him, getting them to agree to a prompt course of action had seemed, at times, to be impossible.

Although this apparent indecision still annoys him, Ianto knows that going into a situation like this properly prepared usually leads to a better outcome – he just wishes that they'd been able arrange the attack on the Audley Clinic sooner than the eventually decided time of just before dawn the following morning.

Knowing that he can't avoid talking any longer Ianto asks, "How is everyone?" Hoping that if he's the one who starts the conversation he'll be able to keep it away from topics he's really not ready to talk about yet.

"You mean how's Jack." Martha gives him a knowing look, before her expression turns sad. "Last time I saw him he was still blaming himself for everything."

"He always does," Ianto says unable to keep the worry from his voice. He knows that Jack doesn't normally let anyone see how heavily the guilt and grief associated with out living everybody he loves weighs on his mind. "Losing his grandson must have hit him hard."

"So did losing you," Martha says gently.

Ianto closes his eyes, feeling tears threatening. He hadn't wanted to think about how much his apparent death would have hurt Jack, not when he'd been unable to go to him and reassure him that he's alright; it would have made his own captivity all the more unbearable.

When Ianto speaks his voice isn't entirely steady, "Do you know where he is?"

"No." Martha looks down, "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but he's gone."

"Left Torchwood. I know," Ianto says, not wanting to make the conversation any harder or more awkward for either of them. "I accessed the Hub's computer system before I phoned you."

"Not just Torchwood," Martha says sadly, "I got his vortex manipulator fixed, I don't even know what planet he's on."

"He left Earth?" Ianto asks hollowly, the hope that he'd had of seeing Jack as soon as this is over spiralling away from him.

"I'm sorry. I can contact him, well Gwen can, I had the communications part of it linked to the Hub's computer system, just in case we ever needed to call him."

"It's not your fault." Ianto hears little of what Martha says after her apology. Getting up, Ianto ignores his half finished meal, saying absently, "I should get some sleep, it's an early start tomorrow."

"Ianto-"

"Goodnight, Martha." Ianto walks quickly away, not stopping until he's outside.

Leaning against the side of one of the buildings, Ianto takes several deep breaths, trying to get his emotions back under control. Seeing Jack again, knowing that there's nothing that could take Jack from him had been the one thing that he'd been able to cling to while he was at the Audley Clinic, and now he's gone.

Looking up at the stars, clear in the frosty night sky, Ianto says, "I'll find you, Jack. Just be okay."

He wipes his eyes, adding softly, "Please. I need you."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the loud, insistent ringing of his mobile that wakes Andy in the early hours of the morning.

"Something's happening. Something big." Johnson doesn't give Andy time to say hello as he answer the phone. "I've been keeping watch on UNIT and there's definite activity, troop movement, increased use of their secure lines. It seems to be centred on a private medical facility that's just outside Henley-in-Arden in Warwickshire. They're getting ready to attack it, I'm sure of it."

"Don't you ever sleep?" Andy asks irritably, only having gone to bed a couple of hours earlier. "Anyway what's this got to do with us? I mean they're dealing with whatever it is, aren't they?"

"Because one of the communications that I managed to intercept mentioned Thames House survivors."

Andy frowns, "But there weren't any, well not apart from Jack."

"I know. The level of activity suggests a retrieval mission for multiple individuals."

"They're rescuing people?" Andy says switching on his bedside light, realising that going back to sleep is now unlikely to be an option.

"Rescue or they could just be tying up loose ends."

"You mean killing people," Andy says with obvious distaste.

"Sometimes these things have to be done. I've notified Gwen and Lois, they'll meet you at the Hub, I'll meet you Henley." Johnson hangs up before Andy can ask any further questions.

Andy is almost dressed when Gwen phones, telling him, "I'm heading over to the Hub now, I'll meet you there. You'll need to get the guns and hazmat suits ready, we're not taking any chances. I've called Lois she's finding us the quickest route, I'm still trying to get hold of Martha to find out if she knows any more about this."

"You know what's going on then?"

"I don't, but we're not going to be left in the dark, not this time," Gwen says firmly.

"Do we at least have a plan?" Andy asks, grabbing his car keys and leaving his house.

"No, but we can think of one on the way. I'm not wasting any time. I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

"Brilliant," Andy says to himself as Gwen ends the calls. "Just brilliant."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The early morning air is cold, and a damp mist hangs over the estate surrounding the Audley Clinic as the UNIT vehicles arrive, parking out of sight of any security that might be watching.

Sitting in the back of one of the transports dressed in borrowed UNIT military fatigues Ianto can't help but wonder if Jack would approve of his current look. The red beret had certainly been a success, and he suspects that the whole uniform would probably be as well.

Closing his eyes Ianto lets memories of Jack wash over him. Memories of Jack kissing him, of large, warm hands against his skin and of nights spent together touching and talking, cntent that neither of them are alone.

"It'll be over soon."

"What?" Ianto opens his eyes, and stares at Martha, confused and wondering how long she's been talking to him. Sleep hadn't come easy the previous night, despite the lack of rest the day before, and when it had the dreams that accompanied had made Ianto wish that it hadn't.

"The attack."

"Oh right." Ianto rubs his eyes, lack of sleep making them feel gritty and sore.

"I still don't understand why you won't let me contact Gwen, Torchwood should be here."

"It is here," Ianto says sharply, tiredness making him irritable. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Gwen should still know about this."

"No, because if Gwen knew about this she'd want to be part of the attack, and while I'm not familiar with the things that should and shouldn't be done while pregnant I'm sure that storming an armed medical facility wouldn't be considered inadvisable."

Martha smiles, despite the fact that she still not convinced that Ianto is right about not telling Gwen. "All right. What about Jack? He'd want to be a part of this, he'd want to know you're alive."

"And that's why he can't be here. I can't let him know, not until this is over."

"Why not?"

"Because if this goes wrong and I die." Ianto looks down at the floor, some of the disturbing images of his dreams playing on his mind. "I'm not putting Jack through that again, it's too cruel."

"Ianto-"

"No," Ianto says sharply. "You told me how upset he was, I'm not dragging him back here to find another corpse."

Martha stares at him, shocked, "Are you sure you're okay? You know don't have to take part in this, not if you worried it might go wrong."

"I have to do this. I have to shut down this place down." Ianto's hand strays to the gun he's been given, the cold metal more reassuring than it ever used to be. "I'll be alright. When this is over I'll be alright."

Before Martha can question Ianto's logic, or ask him who he's trying to convince, Captain Andrews appears at the back of the transport. Nodding to the sergeant, he says, "Be ready to move out in five."

"Yes, sir." The sergeant drops the back of the transport, and the UNIT soldiers travelling with Martha and Ianto get out.

"Last chance to back out." Captain Andrews looks at Ianto. "Nobody going to think less of you if you do. It's likely to get rough in there."

"Rougher than the explosions in Cardiff last year? or the Daleks? What about what happened at Canary Wharf? I lived through all of those." Ianto thinks that there's probably something wrong in dragging up memories that were awful for all those involved, but he's tired of people underestimating him, and he wants the attack to be over.

Captain Andrews shakes his head, looking at Ianto with an expression of surprise.

"I didn't think so." Ianto smiles grimly. "These people took six months of my life and put the people I love through hell, I'm not sitting this one out."

Seeing that he's not going to win the argument, Captain Andrews says, "We'll be glad to have you along."

"Thank you." Ianto nods to the captain, and gets out, walking over to one the groups who are ready to move out before either Captain Andrews or Martha can ask him any more questions.

The captain's order to begin the attack comes only a couple of minutes later, and the UNIT soldiers, split into four groups, approach the clinic.

The group Ianto is with move quickly and quietly towards one of the side entrances of the clinic.

They have nearly reached the door when there is the sound of gunfire from the other side of the building as the group taking out the security on the main entrance engage their opposition.

The element of surprise is lost, and as two armed security guards open the door the sergeant motions to his men to shield their eyes, and he throws a stun grenade to land in the doorway.

When Ianto uncovers his eyes the two guards are on the ground, disorientated, having dropped their weapons. Securing them, hands and feet immobilised with ziplock ties, UNIT leave two men to guard them before continuing into the clinic.

Although Ianto is glad he's armed, he's also relieved that so far he hasn't had to use it, and that the security guards will suffer nothing worse than a headache. He's seen enough death in his life that he doesn't want to be the cause of it unless it's his only and last option.

There's no sign of Doctor Munro or Ruth as they clear the first floor of the building, the labs, treatment rooms and operating theatres deserted due to the early hour. Ianto doesn't know if this is due to it being a day when neither of them are on a nightshift or if it's something else.

Leaving some of the troops to guard the exits, and the one soldier injured in taking out the security on the door in Martha's care, Captain Andrews regroups the rest to start the clearance of the second floor.

Working in pairs the soldiers start to clear the second floor where the people are being held. The realisation that it's not only people from Thames House that are being held, sickens Ianto; six months here had been hell, that some of the people have been imprisoned here for years is a horror he doesn't even want to contemplate.

The look of confusion and relief on their faces as they are released from their rooms is after the first half dozen rooms, more than Ianto finds he can take. He knows it shouldn't surprise him that there were more people than the fourteen from Thames House being kept there, or that some of them had been there for so long, the Audley Clinic was, after all, a large and well organised facility that

Reassuring the sergeant that he won't shoot anybody without provocation and that he's able to take care of himself, Ianto goes to join the soldiers who have moved up to clear the offices on the third floor.

Doctor Munro's office is empty as Ianto passes it, the desk lamp is still on though, and the one of filing cabinets open and empty. Further down the corridor Ianto can hear the sound of doors opening and closing as UNIT continue their search.

Ianto has almost reached them when he hears a faint whirring from behind a closed door. Stopping, Ianto draws his gun before listening at the door.

The whirring stops after a moment and is replaced by the sound of rustling paper. Combined with the missing files from Doctor Munro's office, Ianto thinks that there's only one likely scenario, and he opens the door.

"Stop right there." Ianto points his gun at Doctor Munro who is about to feed more paperwork into a shredder.

"You." Doctor Munro looks annoyed, and puts down the patient files that he's in the process of destroying. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Lack of imagination?" Keeping his gun trained on Doctor Munro Ianto moves closer. "There's enough evidence here that destroying a few records isn't going to make any difference. I thought you'd be better prepared."

"You think so?" Munro smiles and puts down the file.

"You'd only just started to shred those," Ianto points out, before motioning with his gun for Doctor Munro to step out from behind the shredder.

Doctor Munro doesn't move. "I though that you of all the people here would understand that sometime things have to be done. We were on the same side once."

"The same side?"

"Keeping Britain safe. You signed up to protect Queen and Country just as I did."

"And I suppose that you think that the end always justifies the means?" Ianto asks, angry at hearing the same justification that Yvonne had so often used back in London before her desire for power and recognition had brought chaos to his and countless other lives.

"Of course."

Ianto's radio crackles for a moment, the silence that UNIT had observed on the approach to the clinic abandoned now that they are inside, then Martha speaks. "Captain Andrews says to tell you that the building is secure and the incendiary device has been defused."

"Thank you, Martha," Ianto says trying not to sound too shocked at the fact that the clinic had been rigged to burn down. "I've just found Doctor Munro, I'll bring him down, put him with the rest of the staff."

"See you soon," Martha says, ending the call.

The annoyance on Doctor Munro's face at the fact that the clinic isn't going to burst into flames is clear and Ianto can't keep the disgust from his voice, his finger tightening on the trigger as he moves closer to Doctor Munro. "You were going to kill them, let them burn to death. Why?"

"The research was mostly complete, the results forwards. They'd served their purpose," Munro says calmly, although he's taken a few steps back away from Ianto. "You must realise that they could never be released, the work here is too sensitive, people would never understand."

"Are you surprised? You took peoples lives, told their families they were dead, experimented on them."

"Yet they'll still use the research," Munro says smugly, "People are squeamish, they don't want to know how the results were obtained, they just want the benefits. I just do what has to be done."

Ianto wants to argue, but he knows it's true, so many medical discoveries have had their origins in research that people would rather forget. "And I have to stop you."

"You're going to shoot me?" Munro sounds amused, "You don't have it in you; if you had you'd have done it by now."

As angry as Ianto is he knows, on this at least, Doctor Munro is right, he won't kill an unarmed and ultimately powerless, now that the clinic has been shut down, man. Ianto also has the suspicion that Munro is actually trying to goad him into shooting, seeing death as a better option than spending the rest of his life in a UNIT prison. "Maybe I don't, maybe I'm not a killer."

"Then you're a fool." Munro reaches down behind the shredder and draws a gun.

Wondering why he hadn't considered the possibility of Munro being armed, although he'd never seen him carry a gun in the months that he'd been at the clinic, Ianto says, "It doesn't have to end like this, nobody has to die."

"Don't they?" Munro removes the safety.

"No." Ianto looks steadily at him, hoping he looks more in control than he feels. "There are a dozen UNIT soldiers just down the corridor, if you shoot me you won't get out of here alive."

Munro shakes his head, and raises his gun, "I never intended to."

There's no time to think and Ianto fires first, his bullet hitting Munro in the chest, knocking off his aim as he shoots back.

For a second Ianto thinks that Munro has missed him then his leg gives way, the pain, sharp and fierce, starting as he hits the floor.

Ianto's hand is shaking as he places it over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, barely aware of the sound of running footsteps in the corridor outside as the UNIT troops checking the other offices come to investigate.

Feeling cold and shivery, Ianto closes his eyes, hoping that this isn't it, but thinking that knowing his luck it will be.

"You came back."

Ianto opens his eyes to see Ruth kneel down on the floor beside him, and open a first aid kit the one of the soldiers has handed to her.

"Said I would." Ianto grits his teeth as a soldier raises his legs slightly to help reduce the blood flow. "Promised."

"I know. I'm just glad I got you enough time." Ruth gets out a bandage. "I told Munro that you'd taken my car, they spent half a day looking for it before they realised I hadn't arrived in it that morning. He locked me in my office after that, said he had more important things to deal with."

Ianto nods. He knows that Ruth is only telling him this now as a way to help keep his mind off the pain.

"I'm sorry, this is going to hurt," Ruth says, pressing a pad down on Ianto's thigh, blood welling up through her fingers.

Fifteen minutes later, with his leg securely bandaged and an IV in, Ianto is lying on a hospital trolley, being pushed to the clinic entrance. The idea of another stay at a medical facility, even if it's an army hospital rather than secret government run clinic is unappealing, although Ianto knows he's really not got any choice about it.

They're nearly at the door when there is a commotion outside. It hurts to move, although the painkillers are starting to work, but Ianto struggles to sit up as he hears a familiar voice say, "You listen to me, we're Torchwood, and I'm not taken no for an answer."

"I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't stop her," a young private says apologetically to Captain Andrews as Gwen pushes past him and in to the clinic, followed by Andy and Lois.

Gwen's eyes widen as she sees Ianto, "How?"

"Long story." Ianto smiles tiredly at her, the relief that she's arrived too late to get caught up in any of the gunfire blocking out the question of why she's here. "Just glad to see you."

"You too," Gwen says tearfully, walking over to Ianto and taking hold of his hand. "I thought we'd lost you."

"Can't get rid of me that easily," Ianto says, his voice wavering slightly. He hopes that Gwen doesn't start crying, as he's sure that if she does he'll join her; not something that he wants to do in front of strangers.

Lying back down, Gwen still holding his hand, Ianto smiles, knowing that it's finally over, and that he'll soon be able to contact Jack.


	9. Secrets and Hope Chapter 9

"There's a visitor for you," the nurse says, pulling up the blinds and letting the bright morning sunlight into Ianto's room. "I know it's early, but they wouldn't take no for an answer."

"He does that." Ianto winces as he sits up, his leg still aching despite the recently administered painkillers.

"He? No, it's a Mrs Davies, she says she's your sister."

"Oh. You'd better show her in." Ianto hates the fact that part of him is disappointed that it's Rhiannon, because he is glad to see her, it's just that it's not Jack rushing in and kissing him, then flirting outrageously with the nurses because he knows it will make Ianto smile.

Although it's only been two days since the attack on the Audley Clinic, and rather less than that since Gwen had got back to Cardiff and contacted Jack for him – the UNIT medical personnel insisting that he had to stay in at least over night – it's disheartening that there has been no response from Jack.

With nothing to do, not even an escape to plan, it's hard not to worry, especially as Ianto gets the feeling that both Gwen and Martha have tried to down play just how affected Jack had been by everything that had happened.

There isn't time to dwell on it though as Rhiannon is shown in, the nurse telling her to press the call button by the bed when she's ready to leave.

"Gwen called me, told me that there had been a mix up, that you were alive, I couldn't believe it, but I knew she wouldn't lie to me, not about something like this." Rhiannon pauses only to take off her coat, putting it on the chair by the bed. "Johnny says we should sue somebody, that the government take more than enough money off us in taxes and it's time they gave some of it back, that we should get something good out of this mess."

"Rhi."

"I told him getting Ianto back is more than good enough for me."

"Rhi." Ianto tries again.

Rhiannon stops, then says, "I'm babbling, aren't I?"

"A little," Ianto says fondly, glad that despite everything that has happened his sister is still the same. It gives him hope that things can, eventually, be all right again. "But it's all right."

"So how are you?" Rhiannon asks, sitting down. "And don't you tell me you're fine, or try and fob me off. I know you better than that."

Ianto knows that he probably could lie to her and get her to believe it; working for Torchwood meant that you got good at telling lies. There's no point in doing it this time though, and he says, "Sore, tired, bored at staring at a blank wall all day." He sighs. "I just want my life back."

"You will." She gives him a reassuring smile. "I'm getting Johnny and Gwen's bloke, Rhys, to sort your flat out. You'll be back there in no time."

"You kept it?" Ianto asks. It's more than he'd hoped for, he'd been expecting to have to rent something for a while until he found somewhere that he liked.

"Just hadn't managed to sell it yet," Rhiannon admits. "Still got all your stuff too, well most of it. Jack turned up and said something about needing to keep it all, it being part of regulations. All sounded a bit mad to me, I mean where's he going to put it all? But I couldn't say no to him."

"He's a hard man to say no to." Ianto manages a smile, knowing that it's either that or cry.

"Speaking of Jack, has he come to see you yet?"

Ianto shakes his head, wishing that Rhiannon hadn't asked, and hoping that he can hold himself together at least until the visit is over. "He's away, Gwen is still trying to contact him."

"Wherever he's gone now that he knows you're alright he'll be back," Rhiannon says confidently. "He was crazy about you, I could see that. I helped him pack up your flat after all, couldn't let him do it on his own, not the state he was in."

There's no chance of managing a smile to hide behind this time and Ianto bites his lip, trying to hold back a sob. He knows only too well how awful it is packing away a life into boxes, he'd helped Jack do it first for Suzie, and later for Owen and Tosh, both of them shedding tears before it was done.

Ianto takes a shaky breath as Rhiannon turns away for a moment and picks up her handbag, hoping that he get his emotions back under control before she tells or asks him anything else.

"Before I forget," Rhiannon says opening her handbag and getting out a get-well card, handing it to Ianto. "Mica drew it for you."

Taking it from her, Ianto looks down at the card, the brightly coloured image blurring in front of him as his eyes fill with tears. Everything that he's been through seems to hit him at once; nearly dying, being held captive, not knowing if he'd ever see those he cares about ever again or if they'd even survived, the fear that he might never see Jack again.

"What's wrong?" Rhiannon takes the card from Ianto as the colours start to smudge and run.

"Everything. Nothing. I don't know." Ianto wipes a hand across his eyes, but the tears won't stop falling.

"Come here, it's going to be okay." Getting up from the chair, Rhiannon sits on the edge of the bed and puts an arm around him.

Unable to hold everything in any longer, Ianto rests his head against her shoulder, and cries.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's been three weeks," Gwen says, checking the computer program that has been set up to send and receive messages from Jack's vortex manipulator. "Why isn't he answering?"

"Maybe he's out of range?" Andy suggests, walking over to her. "It happens when I go over to my Auntie Doreen's farm. Doesn't matter what network you're on, last time I had eighteen missed calls when I got back."

"It's not a mobile." Gwen walks away from her desk to look out through the glass wall and down into the main part of the new Hub.

"I'm trying to be positive here." Andy follows her, saying, "I mean it's better than 'I think it's broken,' or 'maybe he's just ignoring you,' isn't it?"

"I suppose so," Gwen says, sounding doubtful. "It's just that I can't help wonder if he's alright, if he's not answering because he can't, if…I don't know." She sighs, "I just want things back to how they were."

Andy is about to answer when the door leading to the tourist centre access opens.

"So this is Torchwood," Ruth says, walking into the Hub, Ianto limping beside her, leaning on a crutch.

"I suppose it is." Ianto has to admit the rebuild is impressive, the plans he'd briefly looked at when he'd accessed the network in Birmingham not really showing the scale of it. The space is still cavernous, open to the roof many feet above his head, but now a lot of what had been wasted space high up along the walls has been converted into a gallery level of glass walled rooms.

Looking around Ianto can see the dragon mural, still incomplete and now slightly fire blackened, occupies the back wall of what appears to be a staff room. There are other fragments of the old Hub incorporated into the new glass and chrome structure; the original Victorian tiles with Torchwood on them, the archway down to the old autopsy bay, and the invisible lift rising up through the centre of the Hub to the Plas above.

It's familiar yet strange at the same time, Ianto thinks, as he notices Gwen and Andy looking down at them from the new boardroom. A lot of things have been like that since his return to Cardiff, the small changes that have happened in the six months that he's been away seeming all the more noticeable against the things that haven't.

"So it'll just be the four of us working here?" Ruth asks, as they makes their way up to the boardroom. "I thought there would be more."

"Not for long," Ianto says stopping for a moment, wishing that there weren't quite so many stairs in the Hub. "Jack will come back soon, and hopefully well be able to recruit a couple more people."

Ruth looks as if she's going to question what Ianto's said, then seems to think better of it, realising perhaps that Ianto doesn't want to talk about Jacks absence at the moment.

"I didn't expect you in so early," Gwen says meeting them at the top of the stairs, before walking towards her office.

"It's nearly ten, that's hardly early," Ianto says, sitting down at the desk, trying not to look too relieved at being able to take the weight off his leg. "Anyway since I haven't been given the all clear for driving yet Ruth said she'd give me a lift in."

"Is it bothering you?" Ruth asks.

"Not any more than usual," Ianto says truthfully. The bullet wound is healing well, the shot having gone cleanly through the outer part of his thigh, and the painkillers given to him by the hospital are doing their job.

"Well tell me if it does. I did agree to be a doctor here after all."

"And we're glad you did. I was beginning to think that we'd never find one." Gwen says to Ruth, before turning to Ianto. "Ianto, could you set up Ruth's account and login?"

"Yes. I can do most of it from here." Ianto switches on the computer on Gwen's desk. "Should only take a few minutes."

Ianto has just logged onto the system when an alarm sounds.

"What's that?" Ruth looks around to see where the sound is coming from.

"Rift alert," Andy says, heading over to the desk.

"Is it always like this?" Ruth asks, following him.

"Only on days with a Y in them," Ianto says, as he brings up details of the Rift activity on screen. It almost feels like he's never been gone.

"What have we got?" Gwen asks looking over Ianto's shoulder.

"Intermittent signal, getting stronger with each pulse." Ianto points at the screen so that Ruth, who's now looking over his other shoulder can see what they are talking about. "Whatever it is it's going to come through in Penarth in about twenty minutes."

"We'd better get going," Andy says, looking at Gwen. "Everything still in the SUV from last time?"

"Should be."

"You found the SUV?" Ianto asks, surprised that the people who'd taken it hadn't just left it a burnt out wreck after they'd finished their joyride.

"They'd been trying to take out what they thought was a stereo, triggered the internal locking system." Gwen smiles. "They were shut in it for four hours until somebody noticed and called the police."

Ianto laughs. "Couldn't have happened to nicer people."

"Take Ruth with you," Gwen says to Andy as he turns to leave to go to the SUV.

"Bring it round onto the Plas, I meet you there," Ianto tells Andy, before looking at the signal again. There's something almost familiar about it, familiar but frustratingly just out of recall.

Andy looks a little surprised, but says, "Okay, I'll be about five minutes."

"Are you sure?" Gwen points at Ianto's leg once Andy and Ruth have gone. "Shouldn't you be resting it for a bit longer?"

"I could say the same thing." Ianto looks at Gwen's stomach. "How many weeks have you got left now?"

"Six. Pregnancy isn't an illness you know."

"Technically neither is being shot," Ianto points out. He can tell that Gwen is concerned though and adds, "I'll coordinate from the SUV. I'll be alright."

"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of it, am I?"

Ianto shakes his head, saying, "No, I've been waiting far to long to be back here." Then, getting up a little awkwardly from the chair, he leaves the office.

"Right pair we are," Gwen says as they carefully make their way down to the lift. "Don't think we could catch a weevil if its legs were tied together."

"Weevil bondage – now there's a thought I wish I didn't just have."

Gwen laughs. "No, I mean something like, oh I don't know, alien snails."

Ianto makes a face. "Think of the slime."

Gwen is still laughing when she says, "I missed this."

"Me too."

Reaching the invisible lift, Gwen gives Ianto a quick hug. "Be careful."

"I will," Ianto says, once Gwen has let go of him, and gets on the lift.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So what do you think it is?" Andy asks as he drives the SUV along the cliff top farm track.

"I'm not sure," Ianto says as he monitors the signal from the computer system in the back, "It seems controlled, as if something is tapping into the Rift, looking for something."

"People can do that?" Ruth turns in her seat to look back at Ianto.

"A few." Ianto can't keep the apprehension from his voice. Bilis Manger. John Hart. Gray. In his experience every time somebody had manipulated the Rift for their own purposes it had never ended well.

"You don't sound very happy about it."

"I'm not." Ianto doesn't elaborate, not wanting to go into details about what had been some difficult points in his life.

"Stop." Ianto taps Andy on the shoulder. "Whoever or whatever it is they're coming through here."

Stopping the SUV, Andy looks around, asking, "How soon?"

"Signal still isn't stable." Ianto shakes his head. There's something about the way the signal is acting, like it's searching for something, that puts him on edge. "It could be two minute or ten minutes."

"So we wait?" Ruth winds down her window and looks out. "What do we do if we get any walkers? They could be in danger if they turn up at the wrong time."

"No, we need to make sure that nobody else is here." Ianto says, looking at the path along the cliff top. "One of us needs to redirect people coming this way along the path, and another to stop anybody else getting onto the path in the first place."

"I'd better do the redirecting," Andy says, getting out of the SUV. "I know a few of the paths up here. I can make sure they aren't sent too far out of their way."

"Guess I'm on the gate then." Ruth looks back down the muddy track to a gate in a fence that leads back onto the road.

"Take the hazard tape out of the boot, and rope off the gate." Ianto presses the door release, relieved that he isn't going to have to try to negotiate the slippery mud and wet grass. "It puts off most people, if anybody asks why just tell them at the cliff path is possibly unstable, and its off limits while it's being checked."

"You'll be alright here on your own?" Ruth asks, opening the boot.

"I'll stay inside the SUV and monitor the readings until whatever it is comes through." Ianto looks at Ruth and Andy, wishing they weren't still so short staffed. "Just be ready to get back here fast when it does."

Watching them walk away, Ianto opens the door next to him so he can get a better view down the path while he checks the readings.

Ianto is about to contact Gwen and tell her that they've reached their location when he sees a shimmer ahead and to the left of the SUV. For a moment he thinks it's an effect of the sunlight reflecting off the rain on the windscreen.

The golden glow grows, tendrils of light escaping what looks like a hole in the sky before a man stumbles out.

Even with his back to Ianto the figure is unmistakeable, his RAF greatcoat billowing about him in the breeze blowing across the cliff top.

"Jack," Ianto whispers to himself, barely daring to believe it.

Getting out of the SUV jars his leg, and Ianto can't bite back a groan at the sudden flare of pain.

Jack turns at the sound and stares at Ianto, too shocked for a moment to move.

Jack looks thinner, his eyes haunted and tired, and Ianto wants to run over to him, and hold him. Running isn't an option yet, as sudden movements still though sends spikes of pain through his injured leg, and Ianto knows that a moderately fast limp leaning heavily on his crutch is the best he's going to be able to manage.

Ianto has only managed a few steps before Jack rushes over to him, and hugs him tight, nearly lifting him off the ground.

For the moment nothing else matters. Not the fact that it has started to rain, or that Andy and Ruth are watching them with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

Releasing his hold on Ianto, Jack rubs his thumb along the faint scar on Ianto's cheek left by the exploding Hub months before, his hand shaking. "It's really you."

"Yes," Ianto says sounding choked, everything that he was going to say to Jack forgotten now that he's holding him.

"I left you," Jack says hoarsely. "You must hate me."

"Of course I don't. You didn't know," Ianto says, surprised that Jack could think that about him. "You thought I was dead."

"When they said there was no body I should have looked for you. I shouldn't have trusted them. After everything that they'd done how could I have been so stupid?" Jack shakes his head, looking angry and disgusted at himself. "What the hell was I thinking?"

"You weren't," Ianto says, hoping that he can get Jack to understand that despite everything that has happened, and the terrible decisions that Jack was forced to make, he doesn't hate him for the choices he made. "You were grieving. You'd lost so much. Don't do this to yourself."

"I'm so tired of all this, of losing everybody." Jack closes his eyes, looking exhausted. "When is it going to stop always being my fault?"

"As soon as you realise that it never was." Trusting Jack not to let go of him, Ianto drops his crutch and curls his hand around the back of Jack's neck, drawing him in to a kiss.

They are still kissing, holding each other oblivious to the rain that has started to fall as Andy and Ruth approach.

"It's started raining you know, and I'll never hear the last of it from Gwen if either of you two get sick," Andy says as he reaches them.

Reluctantly, Ianto pulls back from the kiss, knowing that he's not likely to get Jack all to himself for a few hours yet. "I suppose we'd better get back."

"So this is Jack," Ruth says, handing Ianto his crutch.

"And who are you?" Jack asks her with a smile, although the flirtatious edge still sounds forced.

"Ruth Armitage, Torchwood's new doctor." Ruth holds out a hand, which Jack shakes.

"We could do this somewhere dry," Andy says when none of them have moved. "Not all of us like the whole dramatic windswept thing, you know."

"He's right," Ianto says, feeling the rain starting to soak through his coat. "Come on, Gwen will be wondering where we are."

Helping Ianto into the SUV, Jack looks at his leg and frowns, asking, "The virus?"

"A bullet," Ianto says quickly, to dispel any fears that Jack might have about the virus having any lasting effect on him. At least the Audley Clinic had been good for one thing, if there had been after effects they would have found it. "And before you ask there's nobody for you to go after; he's dead."

Getting into the back of the SUV, Jack sits down next to Ianto. "Sounds like I'm going to have a lot to catch up on."

"We both have." Ianto smiles at Jack. "But not right now."

Once the SUV is moving, and Ruth has called Gwen to tell her what's going on, Ianto asks Jack quietly, "How long?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you came back through the Rift. If you'd just been far away when you got the message you never have chanced it." Ianto smiles slightly, trying to cover how unsettling the fact that Jack would take such a risk is. "You'd have charmed your way aboard the first alien ship heading passed Earth."

"You sure about that?"

"I know you."

Jack is silent for a moment before saying quietly so that only Ianto can hear, "Five years. It takes a long time for a radio signal to get out to the Proxima spaceport."

Taking hold of Jack's hand Ianto gives it a squeeze, knowing that it's as much for his own comfort as it is for Jack's. "Do I want to know how?"

"Probably not." Jack's expression is unreadable. "Short answer is I worked out how Hart had done it, called in a couple of favours, locked in on the signal, pressed the button and hoped like hell it would work."

"The risk." It surprises Ianto that Jack would take such a chance, especially as they both know the damage that ending up in some of the places the Rift has taken people can do

"You're worth it." Jack puts his arm around Ianto. "Don't you ever doubt that."

Leaning against Jack, Ianto smiles, truly content for the first time in months.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, standing by the new coffee machine Ianto watches as Jack, Gwen, Andy and Ruth sit at the boardroom table, takeaway boxes in front of them, laughing and joking, and smiles. As, despite the bittersweet memories that it stirs up of when it had been Tosh, Owen and Suzie sitting there, what Ianto sees there is hope for the future.

"Come on, yours is getting cold!" Gwen calls over to him.

Picking up his drink Ianto goes to join them.

The Hub may be different, they may be different, but they're still Torchwood and whatever happens, whatever the Rift throws at them, Ianto knows that together they can face it.


End file.
